Book VI · Apocrypha Entry 42 of 55
Opel Manta
A ray that does not even have the venom
The manta ray is a filter feeder with no sting, no venom and no interest in you. Opel named a coupé after it in 1970 and Germany turned that coupé into an entire national joke.
- Book
- Book VI — Apocrypha
- Marque
- Opel
- Model
- Manta
- Years
- 1970–1988
- Origin
- Germany
- Namesake
- Manta ray
- Binomial
- Mobula rüsselsheimensis
- Verdict
- DENIED — and it did not come close
Sigil generated from the entry's own name. Every coil, hue and scale in this plate is a function of the string “opel-manta”, and of nothing else.
The Corvette Stingray at least has a barb. The manta has nothing: it is the largest ray in the world, it strains plankton through modified gill plates, and its tail carries no functional sting at all. It is, in the fish world, a whale.
The Opel Manta was a handsome, cheap, rear-drive coupé that lasted eighteen years across two generations, and in Germany it acquired a cultural afterlife so specific that it spawned an entire genre of jokes — the Manta-Witz — about its stereotypical driver, complete with fluffy dice, a girlfriend named Uschi, and a rear window sticker.
The Ophidiary denies it firmly and notes, purely as a matter of record, that the Manta 400 rally cars were genuinely rapid and that the joke was always slightly unfair.
No sting. No venom. Just an enormous quiet thing moving through the water being laughed at in another language.
Questions people actually ask
Do manta rays sting?
No. Unlike stingrays, manta rays have no functional barb or venom apparatus. They are filter feeders and are harmless to humans.
Provenance of claims
This is a satire with a research habit. Every load-bearing statement above is listed here and labelled, so you can tell which sentences would survive a librarian.
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Documented
Manta rays are filter feeders and lack a functional venomous sting.
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Documented
The Opel Manta was produced from 1970 to 1988 and became the subject of a German joke genre.