Book VII
The Unclaimed
Names still waiting for a chassis
Every great snake that no manufacturer has yet had the nerve to use. Consider this a menu. Consider this a dare.
12 entries
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Book VII
Adder — unclaimed
Britain built a car called Cobra and ignored the only venomous snake it actually has
The adder is Britain’s only venomous snake. It is small, shy, beautifully marked, and found from Cornwall to the Arctic Circle. British car…
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Book VII
Mamba — unclaimed
The fastest snake on earth, and no car will touch it
It is not black. It is grey-brown, and the name refers to the inside of its mouth, which it shows you first.
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Book VII
Taipan — unclaimed
The most toxic venom ever measured, delivered by an animal that would rather you left
The inland taipan holds the record for the most toxic venom of any snake measured, and has never been reliably recorded as killing anyone, because…
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Book VII
Asp — unclaimed
Three letters. A queen. An entire empire changing hands.
The shortest available serpent name and among the most loaded. Cleopatra is said to have died by the bite of an asp, though which animal that word…
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Book VII
Jörmungandr — unclaimed
A serpent long enough to encircle the world and bite its own tail
Thrown into the sea by Odin, it grew until it could reach all the way around the earth and take its own tail in its mouth. When it lets go, the…
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Book VII
Bushmaster — unclaimed
The longest viper in the world, and its genus is named after the Fate who cuts the thread
Lachesis muta. Lachesis was the Moira who measured the thread of a life. Muta means silent. The full name reads: the silent one who decides how long…
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Book VII
Anaconda — unclaimed
The heaviest snake alive, and it does not use venom at all
A constrictor kills by making it impossible for the circulatory system to continue. It is not suffocation. It is a mechanical argument with blood…
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Book VII
Krait — unclaimed
Bites people in their sleep, painlessly, and they do not wake up until it is too late
The krait is nocturnal, its bite is often nearly painless, and a substantial proportion of serious envenomations occur while the victim is asleep on…
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Book VII
Quetzalcóatl — unclaimed
The feathered serpent: a snake that solved the problem of the sky
Quetzal, the bird whose tail feathers were worth more than gold. Cóatl, serpent. Put together: the animal that stays on the ground and the animal…
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Book VII
Python — unclaimed
Claimed by an oracle, a missile and a comedy troupe. Never by a car.
The longest snakes in the world, a Greek oracle, an Israeli air-to-air missile and a programming language have all taken this name. No manufacturer…
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Book VII
Boomslang — unclaimed
Afrikaans for “tree snake”. Killed the herpetologist who insisted it could not.
For decades the boomslang was considered harmless because its fangs sit at the back of the mouth. In 1957 that assumption killed one of the most…
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Book VII
Fer-de-Lance — unclaimed
French for “spearhead”. Named for the shape of its head, which is the shape of a weapon.
A large, irritable, superbly camouflaged pit viper responsible for a substantial share of serious snakebites across Central America, with a name…